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As much as they’d like to convince you otherwise, spending all that time in the tub didn’t leave Bert and Ernie squeaky clean.

Everyone remembers Jim Henson’s lovable Muppets as the stars of “The Muppet Show,” “Fraggle Rock,” and of course, “Sesame Street,” but the contributions of Big Bird and Kermit the Frog go far beyond comic hijinks and teaching the alphabet.

While the furry characters have been part of the cultural consciousness of children throughout the world thanks to the popularity of “Sesame Street,” a big part of the Muppets’ impact has been musical – and subversive.

Even though “The Muppet Movie” came out in 1979, the adventure of a small-time frog trying to make it in Hollywood was full of ’60s hippie idealism. Kermit opens the film with a James Taylor-esque performance of “The Rainbow Connection,” which stayed in the Billboard top 40 for seven weeks and received an Oscar nomination – not bad for a talking frog.

Animal, the unintelligible Keith Moon analogue, provided the film’s nod to rock ’n’ roll, along with the presumably drug-addled Gonzo.

The shows themselves have always been very music-based. The theme song of “Fraggle Rock” foreshadowed the fuzzy aesthetic of modern indie-poppers like The Boy Least Likely To and Islands, with its handclaps and simple lyrics, and the show incorporated original songs in nearly every episode.

“Sesame Street” was and remains the most influential, with appearances over the years by the likes of Ray Charles and John Denver, not to mention the timeless classics “C is for Cookie” and “Rubber Ducky.”

Of all the music made by Henson’s characters over the years, though, the most irritatingly catchy song by far is “Mahna Mahna.” It’s a gibberish tune that appeared on the first season of “The Muppet Show” in the 1970s, with Mahna Mahna and his two pink backing singers, the Snowths.

It consists of a few very simple lyrics, which, after reading them here, will be stuck in your head all day: “Mahna mahna / do doo be-do do / mahna mahna / do do do do.”

The song made a reappearance in the Muppetverse on the short-lived “Muppets Tonight” in a sketch involving Kermit and Sandra Bullock, so it’s basically impossible to be unaware of it. But what few realize is the dark secret lurking behind the nonsensical melody and the pink Snowths.

“Mahna Mahna” wasn’t an original song. In fact, its initial libido-drenched lounge incarnation was written and recorded by Italian soundtrack composer Piero Umiliani in 1968. The song was featured in the film “Sweden: Heaven or Hell,” a surreal, hedonistic look at swinging Sweden that included a scene at a lesbian dance club and extensive drug use.

“Mahna Mahna” scored a sequence with girls in towels running out of a sauna.

And here I thought the sleaziest the Muppets ever got was parodying Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run” as a song about math called “Born to Add,” starring a dubious, leather-jacketed singer.

Sexual undertones of “Mahna Mahna” aside, though, the Muppets have always provided family fare, and maybe that’s what’s holding them back.

In an era where 50 Cent and Lindsay Lohan are more cartoon than character, it’s time for Kermit and Cookie Monster reclaim their rightful place in pop culture.

Really, the only thing preventing the Muppets from taking over the charts is their wholesome image. Imagine Animal on VH1’s “Behind the Music,” shakily describing his bout with heroin. Or Gonzo, strung out on speed and mescaline, cruising through Las Vegas, scribbling notes furiously. Miss Piggy, the Jennifer Lopez of “The Muppet Show,” easily matches up with pop divas like Britney Spears, who’s well on her way to porkiness herself.

It’s not like the Muppets don’t have experience holding their own with the real world. Miss Piggy and Kermit appeared on “The Tonight Show” back in 1979 to promote “The Muppet Movie,” and Miss Piggy spent her appearance on that year’s Oscars skewering Johnny Cash and lambasting the Academy for not nominating her performance.

The Muppets, like the Goonies before them, never say die. “Fraggle Rock: The Movie” is due next year and should blow comparable stuff like Cam’ron’s “Killa Season” out of the water.

Until then, maybe Kermit will make a guest appearance in the next installment of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet.”

This column was brought to you by the letter M and the number 4.

E-mail Greenwald at dgreenwald@media.ucla.edu.